Some people are touchers, and some aren’t. I definitely fall straight into the toucher category. I’m a hugger, a hand holder, and a back scratcher. In return, I require touch, and an over abundance of it. Borderline code clingy for sure.
Touch to me, is reassurance. It’s calming when my anxiety is high, and comforting when I’m feeling low. The key is having someone that knows the difference, and can sense the need, sometimes before you even realize it. An emotional support spouse is definitely a thing. I know because I have one. He really should be allowed to write me off on his taxes. I’m a part time job, no doubt.
There are several ways to communicate through touch.
The long hug. If your spouse is a toucher and you don’t practice the long hug daily, you should really try it. Every night, when you connect after your crazy days, stand and hug for at least 5 seconds. It magically releases stress and eases the burdens of the day. The feeling of being a team is essential.
When walking into a room, a firm hand on the lower back says, don’t worry babe I’ve got you.
When riding in a car, a hand on the thigh is a symbol of safety and security. The occasional squeeze is just a reminder that he’s there.
Holding hands is communicating attachment. You are not only literally attached, but also figuratively. It says, “I’m committed to this person and proud.”
The rubbing or scratching of the back shows strength, when the other is weak. Perhaps they are sore from physical assertions, or tired from mental ones. Either way, a few minutes of this touch is healing.
The ottoman touch, that’s my signature. That’s where all of the above touches are not enough, so you throw your legs on and over your spouse. Thank God I married a toucher, because this would be too much for many.
When is the last time you touched your spouse? I’m talking touching them without the intent of it leading to sexual intercourse. Random reassuring touches can speak volumes.
I’m not complicated, I don’t think all women are either. I think we just need to be open with communication and what our emotional and physical needs are. Life’s short, speak the truth.