If I am going to advance my skills as a writer I need to do a few things. First is a spell check and punctuation refresher course. Commas are a killer. Does it need one? Would I take a breath here if I was reading it? Is there some rule like not before Z but after T? The truth is I have no idea. Remote learning for 4th grade English was a killer. The good news is that there are editors for that, because truth be told, if I dont have it by now Im probably never going to.
First I asked my Facebook friends to give me a writing prompt and that was zero help. Of course it did confirm that my friendships are based on smartassery. Which I already knew and wouldn’t want it any other way. The only thing left to do in my small window of quiet time was google writting prompts. The first one that caught my eye was to write about something that didn’t cost a lot, but means a lot to you. I instantly knew one of the most important things to me at this point in my life is my necklace.
Its not just any necklace. Its a petiete gold cross with a solid gold band that I later added. It was probaly 5 or 6 years ago when my grandma was in the hospital when I aquired it. You see, there were a lot of false alarms with her. She always kept us guessing on if this was her time, or not. She was a fall risk. Not only was she a faller she was a faller with the abitilty to undoubtedly hit her head, every single time. It was one of those times that I thought she was a goner. My family is unconventional and I mean that in the most flattering way possible. We laugh when its inappropriate and we talk about things. All kinds of things. One being what do you want when fill in the blank dies? When I was younger that question would make me uncomfortable and annoy me. I never wanted anything, for Gods sake even talking about it seemed wrong. Well as grandma was laying there looking weak and on deaths doorstep, I told her that I wanted her cross necklace when she died. Timing has always been tricky for me. She insisted that I take it right then. I hesitated but she explained that she would like me to have it and she would enjoy seeing me wear it. I took it and low and behold, she held out another 6 years. Im certain she replaced it becasue that woman loved her gold jewelry.
The ring that I have now added was the ring that she was wearing when she went into hospice. It has no family meaning. Shit, I think it actually came from one of her sneak estate jewelry shopping sprees, but she loved it, and I do too. I rarely take the necklace off. I fidget with it when I’m nervous and am constantly moving the clasp around to the back. It pulls the baby fine hair on my neck but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
I also have a bracelet that at this current moment I have misplaced. It’s here somewhere and I know I will find it when I’m not obsessed with its disappearance. The bracelet has a bit of a funnier, more morbid history. When my grandma was transferred to the hospice facility last year, I rarely left her side. I spent many hours at her bedside reminiscing with family members, but I also spent many hours there alone with her. Death isn’t new to me. I’ve lost some of the people that I loved most in the world. Its not scary when it’s someone you love. It’s honestly a beautiful transition to witness in the right circumstances. During one of the solo hours I was looking at her, soaking every bit of her in that I could. Just begging my memory to lock in every detail of her face, her hands, everything. She was wearing a bangle bracelet. At the time I had no intention of it being mine, but I figured I’d at least take it off. I gently pulled, nothing. I used a bit more pressure the second time, again wouldn’t budge over her wrist. Now I’m pretty damn stubborn and I remembed saying out loud, “Jesus Geri, how in the hell did you get this on?” It took some finagling and I was nervous I was going to bruise her but I finally got it. I only found out later after really looking at it that there was a clasp, a damn clasp. A one button release that still makes me laugh, sorry Nan.
Moral of this story is if you want something from someone speak up. It can be material or maybe its just more attention or recognition. Every relationship in your life has the opportunity to be a two way street. Don’t wait until your yanking the bangle off at the last minute. Make sure you leave no words left unsaid and that those you love know it. I love you, I love you most.