Randomness

Some of my best thoughts come to me in the shower. Random, off the wall stuff. Sometimes it’s things I wish I’d said in a conversation months ago. Other times it’s serious, in depth thinking about the people I love, and the relationships I have. Most often though, it’s silly dumb random things. The bad news is I haven’t showered today. The good news is there are still a lot of random things in my head. Enough to fill an entire blog.

Here are my random thoughts in no particular order.

Why can’t every female restroom stall have a hook for a purse? No way am I setting a purse on the floor in a public restroom. Seriously holding it on your lap as you’re trying to hoover and wipe, could be an Olympic sport. I seriously just don’t understand why they aren’t standard. While I’m on the bathroom kick TJMaxx is a winner in my book. A foot platform to open the door, genius! I hate washing my hands in a “forest friendly” restroom with air dryers, and then have to open the damn door. I’ve been known to wait for someone to come in depending on the shirt I’m wearing and if it’s worth sacrificing to open the door.

Turn signals. Now to me these are simply a directional indicator. They are not a request. If I see you wanting to come in my lane, you have signaled, and have room, then come one over. If you are going to wait for a formal invitation, you are going to be disappointed. Snooze ya loose my friend.

Why must my children open cans of frosting? If there is a can of frosting chances are it’s for something. I’d normally flip my shit, but today I frosted a Rice Krispie treat and took a nap. You win some, you loose some.

In the 1950’s housewives would wear pantyhose and dresses adorned with a cute little apron, all while making dinner. When their husbands would get home, they would be served a kiss, with a drink and their dinner plated. I think I could be one of those wives for about a hot second. I wasn’t breed to fetch someones slippers. I remember a few years ago I was home in between jobs for small spell. Chuck came home and displayed disappointment that I didn’t have dinner prepared. The next night I had a full pan of fried hot dogs all ready. He never did that again.

I’m more of a you never know what you’re gonna get kind of wife. I like to keep it interesting. Will she be showered, will she be dressed, will she have at least brushed her teeth, who knows? Some days I’ll bust my ass for a few minutes and clean up, while some days there is still evidence of last nights dinner stuck to the counter top. Today I just can’t get my shit together. I woke up tired and it hasn’t changed. I made a grocery list with the best of intentions and then ordered Shipt. I put Brogan in charge of corresponding with the shopper while I took a nap. Thank goodness I woke up before I got pickling dill, but he did a great job otherwise.