I hate about me sections but here we go.

I’ve always hated about me sections. There is a fine line between being narcissistic and being 100% confident in yourself and what you bring to the table. The older I get the less I care about lines and fitting into boxes. I am an open book. What you see is what you get. I don’t sugar coat things, but my delivery is never intentionally sharp or vicious. I laugh a lot, my smile is crooked, and my eyes are big and brown. I’m far from perfect, but I’m aware.

I will never win a mother of the year award from the June Cleaver club. I make sure my kids are fed, but I don’t necessarily always feed them. They are actually quite sufficient in getting their own cereal and microwaving chicken fries. I make sure they are clothed but I refuse to do their laundry. Long story, but I’m on strike and have been for a couple of months. It’s actually kind of refreshing. Plus it’s summer break so if they stink I’m not nearly as concerned. They hear my occasional trucker mouth, but they love greatly. They have empathy, understanding and a genuine concern for people other than themselves. I’ll take that over a trophy anyway.

Now in the wife department, I nail it. Totally kidding. Almost daily I wonder why he puts up with my shit. I’m independent, but selectively. He has had to grow accustomed to my mood swings. When I love its 100%. I’m talking back rubs, random kisses, ass slaps and dancing in the kitchen. But when I’m off, don’t look at me, don’t touch me, just feed me M&M’s from a distance. Similar to a cranky zoo animal. Maybe this hysterectomy will calm that down a bit. Even if it doesn’t, this guy is the best zoo keeper around, hands down. Marriage is hard. Marriage is making choices every single day. A choice to build up someone higher than they ever thought possible. Making sure they feel loved, respected and appreciated. Putting their needs ahead of yours. In return, ideally they will go above and beyond to make every aspect of your life easier.

I try like hell to be a good friend. Thank God I’m surrounded with friends that understand and accept me. I don’t always text back. It doesn’t mean I’m giving you the cold shoulder. It means 9 times out of 10, I responded in my head and completely forgot to send it. Don’t ask me to commit to anything more than a day or two in advance. I have commitment issues. As silly as it sounds, I’m an introvert that occasionally likes to socialize. I can be the life of the party, but on my own terms.

When I grow up I want to be a philanthropist. Which unfortunately requires a bit of disposable income. I mean we all need goals right? Writing a book is a dream, a bit more attainable than the philanthropist. I’m not an expert in anything but I have plenty of experiences, and the gift of humor.