Sitting idle

I don’t sit idle well. I’m by no means the Energizer Bunny, but I’m not a sloth either. Whatever is in the middle of the two, that’s what I am. These next 6 weeks are going to be interesting. So many expectations, but I’m so exhausted. Truth be told I’m a bit moody too. I guess I thought that would somehow change. I mean I’m happy to settle for no more monthly exorcisms, but it would have been nice to even out the mood swings. My left ovary is reminding me today that she’s still there and she isn’t going to be idle either.

I’m thinking maybe summer was a bad a time to schedule this surgery. If this was in the winter, I could sit around wrapped in a cozy blanket, drinking coffee as I watch the kids hustle out to the bus. Sit around all day with no guilt. Throw something in the crockpot and take the naps. Again timing has never my thing.

Instead I decided that the month of July and 1/2 of August would be the best time to recover. In complete honesty I took the very first appointment, the date didn’t matter. So instead of warm fuzzy blankets and peace and quiet I opted for warm weather, can’t swim, kids bickering (currently about m&m’s for Gods sake) and a lawn that needs to be constantly mowed.

It’s not a secret that I’m a giver, not a taker. I’ll be the first to jump at any opportunity to help someone, but I will never be the one to ask for it. I’m a struggler, and a hard headed survivor. Somehow my pride hangs on that. When the meal train idea was brought up, I immediately shot it down. I’ve been the provider of several meals, but never thought I’d be the recipient. I am surrounded by a tribe of women that obviously aren’t good listeners. A meal train was made, and let me be the first to eat crow and say how amazing it’s been. The kids have been loving it. Talk about a smorgasbord of goodness. I believe Brogan’s exacts words to his dad were, “I’m so sorry mom is going through this, but this is really working out for us.”

I’ve inquired about a writing workshop at the end of July. This is a huge step for me. I love to write but never gave it enough credit. I feel blessed for all of the support and feedback from those that find comfort, joy and humor in what I have to say. I’m finally feeling confident enough to see what this ole gift of mine can do.