Backstage Boudoir

I love lilacs, dirt roads, good shoes, clean sheets and boudoir. Put it on my headstone. A few months ago I got this wild idea to look into a boudoir photo shoot for my husband. Little did I know, that 2 hour photo shoot would be one of the best things I’ve done for myself, in a very long time. Don’t get me wrong, he is very much enjoying the gift, but this one really ended up being much more about my never ending quest for more. More self love, more body positivity and pushing myself way outside of my comfort zone.

How does one go about finding a photographer that they would be comfortable getting 1/2 naked in front of? Lucky for me, mine lives right down the road. I’ve seen Emina at neighborhood get togethers and I knew she was a photographer but I didn’t know that she did boudoir. I did what any oversharing 42 year old woman does, and I asked on Facebook. Instantly Emina was recommended by at least 3 people. One from a friend that had recently done a shoot with her. She messaged me raving about Emina and shared a few pictures with me. I loved the style. Sexy, classy, and powerful, everything I was looking for. I messaged Emina and we set up a date. Picking a date that works for a photographer, stylist, studio rental and mother natures menstrual cycle, put us out over a month.

I call her Mina now instead of Emina. We are tight, thick as thieves. I mean how can we not be, she has seen my bits. When I started envisioning my shoot I definitely had myself fully covered and much more modest than some of the Pinterest boards I’d been researching. By the time we were shooting our last set I was in nothing but a thong. Yes, I bought a thong for the first time in my life. It wasn’t as hateful as I’d always imagined. Neither were the fishnet stockings actually. The shoes though, they sucked. They are strictly for show, not function.

Let’s talk about my stylist Monica for a minute. Monica is a magician. She used her magic to persuade me into the thong and fishnets. Shit, she got me to envision a fufu tule skirt as something sexy. I didn’t meet Monica in person until the day of my shoot, but with the exchange of awkward photos that happened the weeks leading up to the shoot, I’d consider her a new bestie too. If I ever win the lottery Monica would be doing my makeup everyday. I love makeup, I wear it everyday. I like to think I’m pretty good at it, but Monica blew me out of the water with what she did.

The morning of the shoot I put the kids on the bus just like any normal Friday. I drank my coffee I had to tell myself that there was nothing to be nervous about. Boobs and butts, it’s just boobs and butts. I preoccupied myself for a good portion of the day cleaning the kids living room and bathroom. As I was scrubbing their nasty bathroom, I couldn’t help but wonder if they were up to date on their vaccines, I literally felt like Cinderella. I knew that as soon as my chores were done this mom was heading to the ball.

Monica arrived to do my makeup. Instantly I knew we were gonna get along just fine. She’s easygoing and extremely talented. We had a mini fashion show, and decided on what I would wear for the shoot. One of the good things about being a lingerie junkie is we had a lot of options to choose from. She did my makeup and I quickly straightened my hair. Shit, we were 20 minutes behind schedule already. Mina was already at the studio getting things ready. Let’s just say, the construction, road closures, late start, shady ass building entrance, and the need to pee eliminated any need to break the ice.

The photo studio was in an old industrial building which made for a gorgeous backdrop. We put on some music and got to work. As I look at the photos they take my breathe away but let me tell you behind the scenes it’s a lot of work. There is booty popping, breath holding, trying like hell not to have an RBF, which apparently is very natural for me. Look up, look down, right hand up, left hand down, grab here and now that you feel like you are in a killer game a twister try and look relaxed and sexy. I can’t tell you how many times we laughed and how many times I said, “y’all crazy, my body does not do that.”

The hardest part about a boudoir shoot is waiting. Waiting to see what all of those laughs, popping and posing produced. I’m in complete awe of the female body. I’ve spent way to much of my life wishing my thighs weren’t so thick, or my that my boobs would somehow defy gravity. I’m over it, this is me. I’m a hell of a lot happier loving myself then being miserable picking myself apart. My husband can attest to the fact that when you are comfortable and confident everything gets better.

If I accomplish nothing else in this life, I want my girls to understand and accept their bodies as the wonderful, magical beings that they are. We were not created to be critical, but celebrated.