Rolls and Rugs

Today was a big day for my Mom. She has been taking classes through her church to become a Stevens Minister. She invited us to celebrate with her, as she and the other members were recognized at today’s service. Now I knew of this plan for awhile but a calendar isn’t something that’s ever caught on for me. Should I have been prepared? Yup. Did this morning turn into a shit show before we even left the house? Absolutely!

Quick recap, yes we are Christians, yes our kids have been baptized. No I can not remember the last time we went to church. There you’re caught up on that one.

I woke up this morning already a bit anxious about the day. Not anxious as in dreading it. Anxious as in I really wanted today to go well for my Mom. Everyone was moving pretty slow, so the fact that we didn’t need to be there until 11 was good. I got in the shower and as soon as I got out, it was like the shit show switch got flipped.

9:45 AM – I was drying off I could hear my 15 year old stressing about his attire. I realized he has nothing but athletic pants and shorts. I took deep breaths and tried to remember that the Good Lord forgives parents who aren’t prepared. He found a pair of khakis that were probably a size too small but they worked.

10:00 AM- My lovely husband decided to epoxy the counter top. He laid a table cloth on the spare room floor, sets up his saw horses and got the top. I was already feeling a bit of a time crunch because I had 30 minutes to do my hair and makeup. I kept taking deep breaths and tried to remember that the Good Lord gives patience and grace.

10:10 Am- My 15 year old decided that he needed to make himself an iced coffee drink in the blender. I was relaying the ingredients to him from the bathroom, as I was doing my makeup. I heard the blender turn on, then right back off. Instantly I knew. I didn’t have to ask and I sure as hell didn’t look. The kid is kind, cute, athletic and a million other things but do you think he thought about putting the top on the blender? Of course not.

10:20 AM I was actually impressed with my time management. I was almost done with my makeup and planned on just straightening my hair. I looked into the spare room where the bathroom counter just got epoxied. There was epoxy running off the top onto the tablecloth underneath. Not a tarp, or a drop cloth, a tablecloth. Definitely not a waterproof one either. My poor husband. He takes a lot of shit but today he got his fill.

10:21 AM I instantly flipped out about the flooring underneath getting ruined. Running my mouth about how we are going to spend 3 times the amount on a new floor, that we tried to save by doing our own counter top. I was nasty. I knew it but I couldn’t hold it in. Why did he have to wait until 30 minutes before we were supposed to leave to do this? Why didn’t he think about the floor? Why isn’t he a damn fortune teller?

10:25 AM I was eerily calm. It’s one thing when I’m vocal and nasty, but it’s a whole new level when I’m quite and calm in these situations. Poor guy was running around like a chicken with his head cut off. He was stuffing cardboard and anything else he could under the table cloth. I watched him pull it up off the floor and it was like glue. He’s still picking epoxy off his head tonight as I write this.

10:30 AM we were getting ready to leave and I looked at him. His pants were wet right by the crotch. He got epoxy on his pants. I just walked out to the car. That ride was full of reminding myself that I was headed to church. I should really be trying to find some grace. If I couldn’t find it, I better at least fake it.

We met Morgan, my oldest and her friend Taylor at the church. The service was nice and my mom got recognized as a Stevens Minister. She has worked so hard the last several months. We are so proud of her. Her dedication and excitement about this journey is awesome to watch.

Chuck and I have been doing Keto for 3 weeks. It’s been going great. Well this morning to add insult to injury, we both gained weight. I gained a pound and he gained 3. Since my hysterectomy I don’t track my “cycle” but I’m certain between the hot flash I had on Wednesday and the mood I was in today, it’s definitely hormonal. As we sat there looking at the menu we decided that one cheat day a month was ok. Especially today.

Holy shit did we take that to another level. The rolls were warm and buttered. My mood was improving with every carb filled bite. We ate like it was a holiday, appetizers and all. We almost had to be rolled out of there. I had to take a nap when we got home. I don’t regret it in the least bit. I even treated myself to a chocolate covered strawberry cyclone for not injuring anyone today.

This is a busy week for us. 7 baseball games and one basketball game. Full fledge spring sports season. Here’s to love, laughter, and new rugs in the spare room.