Dear Uterus

Give me all the meds

You and I have never really been friends. It’s always been more of an acquaintance relationship. I remember when we were first introduced. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I knew that I was a full fledged woman finally. I’m quite sure you and I didn’t meet until much later than you visited all of my friends. As a matter of fact I wondered if our paths would ever cross. Everyone else would talk about you. You’d get them out of school, out of gym class basically anything they didn’t want to do.

After a few years of you visiting I realized that you were incredibly over rated. You ruined perfectly good pants and always came unannounced. I will say that you probably prevented me from making a few bad choices and for that I am grateful but damn why did you have to be so mean.

I didn’t learn to swallow pills until I was 20. That means for the first 6-7 years I chewed anything I could get my hands on when you would visit. Aspirin, Tylenol, ibuprofen, seriously anything to calm you down a bit. You were a dramatic and a force to be reckoned with.

I will say that I am absolutely grateful that you helped me carry 3 beautiful babies. You protected each one and provided them a safe place to start their journey. Of course when it came time to let them go you couldn’t make it easy. 3 C-sections over the span of 11 years. 8 years ago I tried to calm you down with an ablation. I figured you were close to retirement anyway and it was time you cut back a bit and didn’t over due it. You cooperated for a few years but you’ve slowly began picking up steam again.

Tomorrow morning we will say our last goodbyes. It will be bittersweet. I won’t necessarily miss your visits but the fact that you’re going to be gone forever is a bit hard to swallow. Please make tomorrow easy. It’s really the least you can do. No long, painful, drawn out departure, just a quick goodbye would more than enough.

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