Afternoons with Lola

I have no idea how my mother got the nickname Lola, but it stuck. She gets called Mom, Nana or Lola, by all of my friends. I’ve heard “man I wish my mom was like your mom” my entire life. There is nothing subtle about her, which is exactly where I get it from. She can make friends anywhere. The kids and I have decided that although she talks too loud, and claps too long, she’s a keeper.

While her bathroom was being renovated today she came over to utilize my shower. I’m quite sure she didn’t pay extra for the front row ticket to the shit show she walked into, but I’ll let it go. While my kids were screaming at each other she sat quietly. I could feel her looking my way as I was loading the dishwasher, but I didn’t look up. Some days it’s like the lion king over here. They are damn hyenas. Mornings, my mom game is weak. I don’t have the energy or the brain power to make good decisions. Come at me after noon though, and it’s on.

After Mom took a shower, she wanted to run to Tjmaxx and look for some luggage. Well I’m always up for a trip to Tjmaxx, and I wanted to hit Ulta. I had a gift card burning a hole in my pocket. We were riding in the car just chatting about little stuff, and she made a comment about my razor in the shower. She mentioned really liked it and used it to catch a few strays on her face. It was a good weighted one and wondered where I got it. As soon as she said it was double ended, I lost it. I had a hard time getting the words out I was laughing so hard, “Mother, my God that’s my vajayjay razor.” At this point she was shocked and disgusted. We laughed so hard my stomach still hurts. I think I know what Santa is bringing her this year as a gag gift.

There is never, ever a dull moment with Lola.