Day 4 and I can see the light at the end of the self pity tunnel

Ok, I can say with 100% honesty, that I was not mentally or physically prepared for the last 4 days. Day 1 is a blur, and honestly doesn’t really count. Any day that you’re trying to come out of anesthesia is a wash. Day 2 was miserable. I was awake enough to know I hurt and I didn’t like it. Day 3 the gas pains were an unwelcome surprise. I’m not talking belly gas, I mean the gas that causes sharp pains into your chest, shoulders and neck. Day 3 I was regretting my decision terribly. Day 4 I decided I was done with this bull shit.

I woke up this morning before Chuck. He sets his alarm every 3 hours to make sure I get my meds. I can’t imagine how exhausted he is. He’s not only my main caregiver, which we all know is not an easy task, but he is also doing everything in the house. I snuck out of bed and went and made a pot of coffee. I was going to bring him a cup in bed until I realized it was 5:30am. I decided letting him sleep would be a way better idea. I wobbled downstairs and switched the laundry around. I took it slow and it was amazing how accomplished I felt after folding 1 load of clothes. I made myself a cup of coffee and finished the Netflix series Sex Life. Like I’ve said 100 times, timing has never been my strong suit. Let’s watch a steamy show when you can’t have sex for 6 weeks.

Chuck had to return a power washer that we borrowed from a friend this morning so I decided it would be the perfect time to ride along. I shower twice a day because the warm water on my body is the most relaxing thing I’ve found, but I haven’t had the time or energy to wash my hair. Today I made a conscious decision to give it my best shot. I washed my hair and Chuck sat and blew it dry. That may need to be a more frequent thing. Holy shit I understand that me sitting on the stool between his legs with mesh panties and a bra on was the least sexy thing possible, but the level of intimacy that we have is so special. Once my hair was dry I even threw on some makeup. We had no expectations other than returning the power washer but in true Jen fashion I pushed the envelope.

We headed to Meijer to grab some potting soil, grass seed and granny panties. I did not prepare for the 3rd trimester stomach that I’m currently sporting. I mean thongs have never been my jam, but my sensible yet slightly sexy underwear aren’t cutting it right now. I need something I can hike up over this beautiful bruised belly. Chuck tried to talk me into a rascal cart but there was no way in hell I was going to be that person. After about 10 minutes I was done. We checked out and I sweet talked him into a quick stop to Sam’s club. Thank goodness Sams club didn’t disappoint with the panty situation. Ellen Tracy for the win. We grabbed a few other essentials and I went and sat in the car while he checked out. I knew it was time for meds and a nap. Funny how your body just knows.

I woke up from my nap and my girl Anna came over. We sat in my bed and painted our nails. We caught up one each other’s latest news. She told me about her exciting holiday weekend, and I told her about the less than satisfying lack of poops I’ve been having. She got to check out my scars, my hospital issued panties and my pictures from the surgery. Real friendships aren’t just the good stuff they are the messy stuff too.

My mom and Anna stayed for dinner. Anna brought me flowers yesterday and Chuck some steaks. She knows what a pain in the ass I am and it was so sweet of her to recognize him on this journey. It was perfect that she got to enjoy them with us. I sat on our new patio for a little bit watching Brogan do his trampoline flips. I can’t wait to spend more time outside.

Ever since I got home on Thursday I have been obsessed with applesauce. I can not get enough. My lovey friends Shelly and Kelly brought me a jar of the good stuff. I mean seriously, I’m pretty sure it’s apple pie filling labeled as applesauce. I’ve drained that whole jar and am working on my second. I learned tonight that applesauce can worsen constipation, son of a duck. I’m gonna whip up a miralax cocktail and continue to take my chances.

Thank you for joining me on this journey and for all of your love and support. I’m not gonna be down for long, that I promise.