Last night was senior night at the football game. It also happened to be youth football night and local business night. Basically what that means is that all of the seniors of the football team, cheerleaders and band members get a little recognition on the field. They get their names over the load speaker, a flower and a picture taken. When that’s done the youth football teams get to run out of the tunnel lined with those senior parents and local businesses that support them. What a wonderful event.
Now I’m going to be 100% transparent when I say that when I signed up to represent my company through the chamber last night I had no idea it was senior night. Would that have changed things for me a little? I’m sure it would have but this morning as I am writing this I am so glad I was there.
My son has played football since I can remember. He lived for the game. So many memories of early Saturday morning games. Building relationships with families and watching these boys slowly grow into men. I had never doubted that one day the chapter would end. However I envisioned it ending the way it did for so many last night. A walk with my son on the field, smiling for the camera and getting that moment of recognition for all of those years of being a dedicated football mom.
Unfortunately that is not how our chapter closed. It closed last year when he broke his collarbone at football practice. All summer he worked so hard. So many hours of training and he would never see the field again geared up. Now he was a trouper and would stand on the sidelines every game. Every visit and new X-ray at the orthopedic doc would bring a little hope but every time we left with the same answer, not yet. Not yet turned into not this season and that unfortunately turned into closing that chapter forever.
Could he have played this year? Absolutely. He is physically the strongest he’s ever been. Once he broke his collarbone it lit a fire in him. He was determined to get to the gym and build himself back. He worked his legs until he could begin lifting again. As a matter of fact the other day he had a 675lb block pull. The kid is a beast physically.
When he told us that he wasn’t going to play football this year I blew it off. He couldn’t be serious. I mean this is the end game for everyone right? Senior year football is what they make movies about.
Now don’t get me wrong we’ve had several conversations and I do understand that an injury like that helps you put your priorities in order. As a football player your summer is consumed, your nights after school are suddenly booked and once you’re injured they are onto the next player to fill your position. The loss of importance and the knowledge that everyone is replaceable outweighs the love you once had for the game.
As I stood at the tunnel last night I congratulated and hugged my senior mom friends. I couldn’t help that my chest was on fire. The kind that slowly crawls up your throat and eventually causes the tears to run down your cheeks. I was so happy for them but at the same time so sad for me. What a selfish feeling. How could I possible have the nerve to mourn this moment? I still don’t know. Admitting that you are aware that your feelings are selfish makes you incredibly vulnerable but not less harder to accept.
We stood there and cheered for the youth football teams as they ran out under the helmet tunnel. I lost count there were so many. As we shouted and clapped I think Chuck and I both saw all of those years replay in our minds. We didn’t know if we would stay or leave but we did end up staying the entire game. This morning I have no regrets. What wonderful memories we will forever have and a great reminder to soak in every second.
Filter Free With A Good Heart 
Leave a comment