Spring Break or Bust…

I’m lying on the couch, sick with Covid. I’ve watched every movie in the “After” collection on Netflix, several episodes of Antique Roadshow, and spent more hours on TikTok than I’m willing to admit. I figured it’s time to rip off the bandaid and blog about Spring Break 2024. Buckle up, this one is so outlandish you will most definitely think it’s fiction.

We have not always been a Spring Break family. I can’t even remember when we started making it a thing. The last few years we’ve gone somewhere in Florida.

A couple of years ago I drove the kids down to Destin for the week. Chuck had to work so he couldn’t go. So many memories from the cockroach hotel to me getting to the 3rd level of the parking garage to realize that the horrible noise every time we went under a cement beam was the cargo carrier on top of my car getting tore up.

This last year Brogan wanted to go to Siesta Keys. He had a couple of buddies that would be in the area and after last year I had vowed that he could never be alone on Spring Break again. Once he gets bored he gets irritating. Pick, pick, pick until he’s pissed everyone off and then has no idea why everyone is in a bad mood. I’m pretty sure every family has at least one kid like that.

We agreed to Siesta Keys and I booked the Airbnb. Now when I say an Airbnb I don’t mean a 4 bedroom 3 bath beach house. I mean a 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom that has zero view, unless you count the fence if you open the one window to let a little light in.

Now last year on the flight home from Orlando I contributed to a core memory of Brogans when I reached for his bag and puked over everything in it. I decided from that trip that driving wasn’t so bad. Little did I know that I was going to be proven very, very wrong.

Leading up to Spring Break Brogan and I were sick. It wasn’t Covid but whatever it was it kicked our ass. I was out of commission for 4 days leading up to our departure. I threw around the idea to Chuck that he should consider taking the kids and me staying home. That idea did not fly. As the mom I had two choices. Cancel the trip and disappoint everyone, or suck it up and feel like crap in Florida.

Brogan was feeling much better by the time we left. I was ok. Not great but not bad. As a joke I bought a 24pk of car/air sick bags for the trip. I was not going to be caught in a situation like I was on the plane last year. Little did I know that would be the best investment I may have ever made.

The details of the next week are a bit foggy. I may get things a little twisted but this is 100% my honest recollection of the events that occurred. On the way down we took 2 days. The very first morning Brogan got sick. It was on Easter morning. I remember that it was early enough in the morning that he could shower and lay back down. Once he woke up for the second time he felt better. He convinced us to forge ahead. The rest of the trip down was uneventful. Unless you count the chaos that is Buckees.

We arrived at the Airbnb on Monday. It was in a great location. That’s about all it had going for it. Everyone went their separate ways. Brogan found his friends, Morgan went and found the beach and Addie and Chuck went exploring. I laid in bed slept. Still secretly irritated that I couldn’t be sick in my own bed but glad that we were finally there and that they could enjoy their trip.

Wednesday is when I actually started to feel good enough to walk to the beach. I walked around a little bit, just enough to buy all of the kids an over priced souvenir shirt. That night we were going to actually all go out to dinner together. We had been there 3 days out of the 5 at this point.

As everyone was getting ready for dinner Addie spoke up and said she didn’t want to go because her stomach felt weird. I offered to stay home with her. In all honesty I was still weak and the thought of standing in line in a restaurant during Spring Break wasn’t appealing to me. I kid you not, 30 minutes after they left all hell broke loose. This poor kid got sick. Think exorcism sick. I think I had showered her twice by the time they got back from dinner.

Don’t forget I’m a penny pincher so we are in a 1 bed 1 bath with a now actively ill child. The “bedroom” had a king bed that I’m certain was a king mattress on 2 twin boxsprings because there was a hell of a dip in the middle. Addie slept with us. Morgan was on an air mattress on the floor of the living room and Brogan was on the couch. The closest thing I can equate that night to is when you bring home your newborn. You are up every hour, exhausted beyond belief but waken at every whimper.

That next day the big kids were gone all day. I didn’t blame them one bit. As bad as I felt for Addie I was glad the other two were having a good time. I started dropping hints that our trip might get cut short and to enjoy the time that they had.

At some point Addie finally stopped getting sick and I decided we needed to make a break for it. We were going to be leaving a day early and drive straight through to get home. Of course there was pushback but I think if everyone was being honest we were all kind of over it.

Now as if the trip was not already memorable, the next 26 hours were the closest thing to hell I ever care to be. Not 2 hours into the trek home Morgan started getting sick. I have no idea how many stops were made, how many changes of clothing, or how many blood vessels that pour kid broke. The only thing I can tell you is that by the time we got home, I had one, one lone car sick bag left out of 24.

We attempted to try and get them to agree to stop for a night but they all just wanted to get home. By the time we broke them down it was 3am and as you know, that’s about 6 hours too late to get a hotel. We had no choice but to keep going. My mother of year moment was definitely when I lost my shit and declared that we could not stop every time someone got sick. We would never make it home. They were going to have to puke in the bags and shit their pants until we got to the rest areas.

I’m sure I forgot things and I’m sure my children all have a different recollection of what happened but the only thing that is 100% accurate is that I am still traumatized and have not even entertained the idea of another Spring Break.